Azeem

Geez What did I learn at Penn? 

1. Korean people have an anal fixation. Something about sticking their fingers in other people's asses gets them excited. God you people are weird. 
2. Never be cruel to stuffed animals. Real animals are okay, especially if they are men, trying to get you to dance with them. 
3. Always make sure your underwear is safe. Wear all of them at once if you have to. 
4. If you see white stuff on a boy's crotch, don't always think dirty. It could be mayonnaise.
5. Don't let a black belt with a tendency to oversleep stay in your room. I want my damage deposit HeeSung.
6. If a guy pays for your movie, sits next to you, and whispers into your ear, it doesn't automatically mean it's a date. Sorry, John.
7. Gay people suck. No pun intended.
8. Anna sucks. Pun intended.
9. Cigar smoke and Gardenia smells like marijuana when mixed together.
10. Sajan smells like marijuana most of the time.
11. The coolest way to pick up girls: A Rubiks Cube. LJ foreever.
12. Whenever you get the urge to whistle, by all means don't.
13. Nancy has nice big breasts.
14. Just cuz someone grabs your gochoose, it doesn't make hime gay. I hope not.
15. The most addictive drug: Team Fortress and The Phantom Menace.
16. 56K blows. No pun intended.
17. Anna Blows. Pun intended.
18. Umm... Wisk. All over my body.
19. Silvia and LJ siiting in a tree ...... t-a-l-k-i-n-g.
20. LL Cool J is the man.
21. Whenever you are in the shower, lock the door. Or at least make sure there is no photographic equipment in the room.
22. Wash your hands before you eat. Especially after you squeeze someone's whip cream covered nipple.
23. I hate FOBs. My teacher is one.
24. Brrrrrruccccccckkkkk Youuuuu!!!!
25. When chinese people say "duck" they are talking about "duck" a delicious bird. When Korean people say "duck" they mean "tok" a spongy piece of crap.
26. Nodiban.
27. Don't download porn on the first day.
28. Cigars are cool.
29. James is cool.
30. Linda Farted. Often.

 I got tons more but I don't have time right now. Consider this the first installment.

Zim Zima